7 Typical Habits of Unhappy Individuals

“Very little is required to live a good existence; it is all inside yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

“Let us be thankful to individuals who make us joyful, they are the delightful gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Marcel Proust

Circumstances may surely make life sad. Yet a component – often a huge part – of dissatisfaction comes from our own thoughts, behavior and habits.

In this post I’d like to discuss 7 of the most harmful everyday behaviors that may bring quite a deal of sadness inside and in your own small world.

But I’ll also explain what has worked, what has enabled me to lessen or overcome these patterns in my life.

1. Striving towards excellence.

Does life had to be flawless before you are happy?

Do you have to act in a flawless manner and obtain perfect outcomes to be happy?

Then happiness will not be simple to find. Raising the bar for your performance at an inhuman level frequently leads to poor self-esteem and feeling that you are not good enough even if you may have had a lot of outstanding or great achievements.

You and what you do is never sufficiently good enough but maybe once in a while when seems like things goes absolutely right.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Three things that enabled me to quit the perfectionist tendency and become more relaxed:

Go for excellent enough.

Striving for perfection generally ended up in a project or anything else never being done. So go for good enough instead.

Don’t use it as an excuse to be lazy or to slack off.

But just recognize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are done with whatever you are doing.

Have a deadline.

I establish deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. So about a year ago, while I started working on my second e-book, I recognized that merely working on it and distributing it when it was done would not work.

Because I could always find something to add to it. Therefore I had to establish a deadline.

Establishing a deadline provided me a kick in the butt and it is typically excellent method to enable you to let go of an urge to polish things a little too much.

Understand what it costs you when you buy into delusions of perfection.

This was a really compelling reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I remind myself now whenever I notice ideas of perfection creep up in my head.

By watching too many movies, listening to too many music and simply soaking in what the world is teaching you it is extremely simple to get lulled into fantasies of perfection. That sounds so nice and amazing and you want it.

Yet in real life it conflicts with reality and tends to generate much anguish and tension inside you and in the people around you.

It may hurt or potentially lead you to terminate relationships, jobs, initiatives etc. only because your expectations are out of this world.

I find it quite beneficial to remind myself of this basic reality.

2. Living in a sea of negative sounds.

No one is an island. Who we mingle with, what we read, watch and listen to has major influence on how we feel and think.

It becomes a lot difficult to be cheerful if you allow yourself get pulled down by negative voices.

Voices that convince you that life will in large part always be sad, dangerous and filled with dread, concern and constraints. Voices who observe life from a pessimistic perspective.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Replacing those negative voices with more positive ones is incredibly effective. It may be like a whole new universe opening up.

Therefore spend more time with positive people, motivating music and literature, movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a fresh manner.

You may start small. For example, try reading an uplifting blog post or book or listen to an audio book while having your breakfast one morning this week instead of reading the paper or watching the morning news on TV.

3. Being trapped in the past and future too much.

Spending most of your time in the past and reliving old sad experiences, confrontations, missing chances and so on may hurt whole lot.

Spending most of your time in the future and envisioning how things may go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can cause self-doubt and grow into terrible nightmare scenarios and repeating over and over in your brain.

Not being here right now in life as it occurs might lead to losing out on a lot of good things.

No good if you want to be happy.

Ways to overcome this habit:

It is very much impossible to not think about the past or the future.

And it is of course vital to prepare for tomorrow and next year and to attempt to learn from your history.

Yet to focus on such things seldom help.

So I try as much as I can to spend the remainder of my time, the large portion of my time each day, with living in the moment.

Simply being here right now and being entirely focused on these things I am writing and later while I prepare and eat my lunch and work out be fully focused on accomplishing it.

Whatever I am doing I strive to be there completely and not wander off into the future or past.

If I do drop asleep then I concentrate simply on my breathing for a few minutes or I sit motionless and take in what is all around me right now with all my senses for a short period.

By performing one of those things I can realign myself with the present moment again.

4. Comparing yourself and your life to others and their lives.

One extremely typical and detrimental daily behavior is to continuously compare your life and yourself to other people and their experiences.

You compare vehicles, homes, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on.

And at the end of the day you hammer your self-esteem to the ground and you produce a lot of unpleasant sentiments.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Replace that detrimental behavior with two other ones.

Compare yourself to yourself.

First, instead of comparing yourself to other people cultivate the practice of comparing yourself to yourself.

See how much you have developed, what you have done and what progress you have made towards your objectives.

This practice has the virtue of fostering thankfulness, admiration and compassion towards oneself as you note how far you have come, the hurdles you have conquered and the excellent items you have done.

You feel good about yourself without needing to think less of other people.

Be nice.

In my experience, the way you conduct and think about others tends to have a large, enormous influence on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.

Judge and criticize others more and you tend to evaluate and criticize yourself more (often almost instinctively) (often almost automatically).

Be more nice to other people and assist them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.

Concentrate on the good aspects in yourself and in the people around you. Cherish what is good in yourself and others.

This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your life instead of rating them and yourself and making disparities in your thoughts.

And remember, you can’t win if you keep comparing. Merely consciously acknowledging this may be useful.

No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

5. Concentrating on the bad elements in life.
Viewing the bad parts of whatsoever scenario you are in and concentrating on those specifics is a definite method to make oneself miserable.

And to pull down the atmosphere for everyone around you.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Overcoming this behavior might be tough. One thing that has worked for me is to quit the perfectionist tendency.

You understand that things and circumstances will have their upsides and disadvantages rather than assuming that all details have to nice and fantastic. You accept things as they are.

This way you may let go emotionally and cognitively of what is unpleasant instead of obsessing on it and creating mountains out of molehills.

Another thing that helps is just to concentrate on being productive. Instead of focused on lingering and moaning about the bad aspect.

You may accomplish so by asking better questions. Questions like:

How can I convert this terrible thing into something useful or positive?
How can I address this problem?
If I am confronted with what I start believing is an issue I may employ a third approach, I may ask myself: who cares?

I most frequently then discover that this isn’t actually an issue in the long term after all.

6. Limiting life because you assume the world revolves around you.

If you believe that the world revolves around you and you hold yourself back because you are frightened what others may think or say if you do anything that unusual or new then you are setting some significant boundaries on your life.


So, you may become less receptive to trying new things and improving.

You might assume that the criticism and negativity you face is about you or that it is your fault all the time (when it in fact could be about the other person having terrible week or you believing that you can read minds) (while it in reality could be about the other person having bad week or you thinking that you can read minds).

I have also noticed that my personal shyness used to originate from my believing that others cared a great lot about what I was going to say or do.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Understand people don’t care too much about what you do.

They have their hands full with thinking about their own life and what others may think of them instead.

Yeah, this could make you feel less important in your own brain.

But it also lets you free a little more if you’d want that.

Focus outward.

Instead of concentrating about yourself and how others may see you all the time, concentrate outward on the people around you.

Listen to them and aid them.

This will enable you to boost your self-esteem and help you to lessen that self-centered attitude.

7. Overcomplicating life.

Life may be really complex. This may generate tension and sadness.

Yet much of this is frequently produced by ourselves.

Indeed, the world may be growing more complicated but that doesn’t mean that we cannot build new habits that make your own life a little easier.

Ways to overcome this habit:

Overcomplicating life may entail many behaviors but I’d like to recommend a few substitute habits to what have been a few of my own most overcomplicating habits.

Splitting your concentration and having your attention all over the place in daily life.

I replaced that complex habit with merely doing one thing at a time throughout my day, keeping a modest to-do list with 2-3 extremely critical activities and putting down my most important objective on white board that I see each day.

Possessing too much things.

I replaced that habit with routinely asking myself: have I utilized this in the previous year? If not then I will give that stuff away or toss it away.

Generating relationship troubles of any type in your head.

Reading minds is tricky. So, instead ask questions and connect.

This will allow you to prevent unwanted disputes, misunderstandings, negativity and waste of time and energy.

Getting lost in the in-box.

I spend less time and energy on my email in-box by only checking it once a day and composing shorter emails (if feasible not more than 5 phrases) (if possible not more than 5 sentences.)

So that I may spend more time on assisting my newsletter subscribers, on enhancing my blog and on other things that are a win/win for you and me.

Becoming lost in tension and overload.

When agitated, lost in an issue or the past or future in your thoughts then, as I indicated before, breathe with your belly for two minutes and simply concentrate on the air moving in and out.

This will settle your body down and bring your attention back into the present moment again. Then you may start concentrating on accomplishing what is most essential for you again.

Here’s the next step…
Now, you may think to yourself:

“This is incredibly valuable information. So what’s the quickest way to put this into practice and truly make a meaningful difference with these damaging behaviors in my own life?”

Hey, I’ve got something unique for you…